A close friend called the other day, crying.
He’s not happy at work and is wondering if it’s time for a change.
He’s a top performer, with more money and responsibility than he’s ever had. Yet something is missing.
Is now the time to move on?
Decisions, decisions
Some decisions are small and easy. Others are big and scary.
Some are related to business. Others are very personal.
For me, the most difficult decisions revolve around changing something that is no longer working. In other words, it did work, perhaps for a long time. But now it doesn’t.
With all of that built up momentum and history, it’s tough!
It requires identifying (and admitting) that something has changed. And it probably wasn’t planned for.
And if we’re being honest, it’s inconvenient. It takes us away from our dreams, our passions, and our “wish I was doing X instead” list of things. It can feel like a fire drill in the middle of the night.
I don’t have a perfect solution for avoiding this conundrum. Such is life.
But I have a framework that I use to make it a bit easier to navigate.
Here’s how I do it.
The great pretender
If there’s data, I look at it.
Data comes in all shapes and sizes. It doesn’t need to be in a fancy spreadsheet. Sometimes it’s super informal, like a collection of observations or feelings over time.
Are there trends? What’s wrong? Is it fixable? Can someone help me with this?
Usually, the first step is to adjust a few things and see if that makes it better. If it does, great! We’re all set.
But when that doesn’t fix it, then what?
I revisit the updated data (if we have it) to see if things are moving in the right direction. Sometimes change happens in tiny little bits. Patience is a virtue here. Little changes over time. Slow and steady.
But when that still doesn’t work, and when the “right” decision and future is totally unclear, then what?
I listen to intuition. That “gut feel” we all have.
Then, I pretend. I live in a world of make believe for a little while.
Yes, that’s my secret.
I basically make the decision in my own mind, but don’t tell anyone. I pretend the decision is real, but it’s not.
I want to feel the feelings and experience the world with the decision pending in my mind.
Sometimes things happen to confirm that it’s the right call. Sometimes the opposite happens.
But more often than not, especially with tricky decisions, it comes down to a feel.
Does it feel right?
If it does, I make the decision (for real) and move on, knowing that I did everything I could.
If it doesn’t, see above. I rinse and repeat.
Emotionally drained
My approach is far from scientific or perfect, but it does help.
It allows time and space for emotions to drain, which then makes room for logic and reasoning.
This is usually when the best decisions are made.
Usually. But not always. 馃お
